What about the feeling of going back to study, and the overwhelm of all there is ahead of you to learn? Have you ever walked into a room full of strangers, unsure of where you fit in?

Or have you ever struggled to resume work and normal life, after going through a difficult period of illness or loss?

Pressure. Isolation. Expectations. Uncertainty. Frustration. Fatigue.

If you have, then you’ll know the power of meeting someone just like you, who sees you, and who cares. How connection or community can be a light in the dark.

For many men and boys who arrive to Australia as refugees or humanitarian migrants, they face all of this and more. A new culture, unfamiliar systems, the recent impacts of hardship and even trauma, a language to learn, jobs to find.

And for fathers – families to support and children to raise.

We already know that it can be hard for men and boys to ask for support. For newly-arrived Dads, who have already lived through such tough times – it can be even harder.

With that in mind, our flagship Parenting in a New Culture (PINC) program has a special initiative, called ‘Focus on Fathers’. To mark International Men’s Day, and the 2025 theme of ‘Supporting Men and Boys’, we spoke to Reza Mousavi, PINC’s Focus on Fathers Group Facilitator.

Reza himself is a father, a migrant, and plays an incredibly important role at Spectrum connecting Dads from migrant and refugee backgrounds to support, information, and services to help them and their families settle in their new lives in Melbourne. (He also leads our Dads & Kids Sports Squad program and might be our secret pickleball champion!)

Read on to find out more about what migrant and refugee Dads worry about, what it’s like in our fathers’ groups, and how supporting men and boys can help entire families reconnect and heal.

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Hi Reza! Thanks so much for joining us. This year’s International Men’s Day theme is ‘Supporting Men and Boys’. Often, it might be hard to see when a man or boy is struggling, but in order to help, it’s important to understand how it might look. What are some of the early signs?

Reza: Men and boys may not say they’re having a hard time, but their behaviour often shows it: withdrawing, becoming quiet, irritability, tiredness, changes in sleep, or losing interest in things they once enjoyed. Men may overwork or become distant.

For parents and caregivers of boys, what are some of the practical things they can do to help their sons as they grow?

Create an environment where boys feel safe to talk about their feelings. Spend regular time with them, listen without judgment, and show affection. Clear routines and positive role-modelling help boys understand healthy behaviour and strong relationships.

We’re hearing that talking while driving in the car, walking, working or playing alongside each other can be the most effective ways to connect with the men and boys in our lives, rather than a direct face-to-face discussion.

Yes – I recently attended a webinar where the speaker said that “men talk shoulder to shoulder, not face to face.” That reminded me how important it is to discuss meaningful topics while doing activities together.

Speaking of meaningful topics. You facilitate our Parenting in a New Culture program, and have met hundreds of parents from different refugee and migrant communities.

Men with families, have a lot on their mind as they settle into their new lives. What are some of the worries or concerns you see come up most commonly?

Fathers often talk about the challenge of raising children in a culture very different from their own. Many worry about how to balance their traditions with the dominant [‘Australian’] culture and expectations, and how to communicate better with their children. Stress related to resettlement, past trauma, and financial pressure also comes up often.

Over the years, many fathers have also shared that losing their traditional identity as the “breadwinner” or “head of the family” is a real challenge for them.

For people that have been forced to leave their own homes (where they were professionals or skilled workers) and to start over again in Australia – losing years of experience, qualifications and financial security, almost overnight, would be a huge hurdle. I imagine any person would have a very difficult time trying to do that, especially if it was an important part of their role as a father.

Spectrum’s Dad and Kids Sports Squad program is one of the ways that we support refugee and migrant fathers to stay bonded with their children, through sharing interests and making new memories together. It enables fathers to share special times with their kids, going beyond the role of a breadwinner and strengthening those family relationships.

At Spectrum, we’ve tailored our Parenting in a New Culture (PINC) program into a special initiative for newly-arrived men, mostly fathers and grandfathers. Why do you think it was important to tailor the program in this way?

Reza: PINC is designed by experts who work with Culturally and Linguistically Diverse (CALD) communities and developed with consultation from community leaders.

While the program includes universal parenting concepts, Focus on Fathers also covers topics that specifically resonate with newly arrived fathers – such as the settlement journey and acculturation process. In fact, we have a whole session on family stress, where we normalise mental health challenges and share practical tools to encourage fathers to seek help [for themselves].

It creates a safe space where fathers feel understood, respected, and comfortable to open up. Hearing that other men share similar challenges reduces their shame and builds their confidence. It also strengthens their sense of connection.

What do you find most rewarding about supporting men through the PINC Focus on Fathers program?

Affirming fathers. [Letting them know] that they are doing a great job is incredibly rewarding. Seeing them grow more confident and connected, support each other, try new strategies at home, and strengthen their relationships with their children is truly inspiring.

Like many of our Spectrum programs for refugees and migrants, the special thing about PINC is that it’s also about helping these Dads connect with each other – forming that support community that we know is so important for men and boys. As a father and professional, what are some of the things that the men in your groups have taught you?

I learn something every session. The fathers’ resilience, commitment to their families, and different cultural perspectives teach me a great deal.

It’s clear that specialised support for men and boys not only benefits them, but helps entire families and communities to thrive and heal.

Whether you are a newly-arrived migrant, or a service provider that supports migrant and refugee families, we invite you to connect with us at Spectrum Migrant Resource Centre.

You can make a referral, chat to us about partnering together to support your community, or simply share this post to help us reach more men and boys across Melbourne.

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